Monday, January 19, 2004

Weasels beware! The awards are out and we have some winners!

Ah yes, it's award season! You have your Golden Globes, the People's Choice, your Oscars, indeed there is an award for everything and everyone. But by far the most revealing of the Awards is the Weasels.

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert has taken the pulse of cubicle dwelling humans everywhere and delivered to us the Weasel Awards. Thousands of voters made their choice as to the Weaseliest person, country, company and behavior to name a few. And if your address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, this is a banner day. You would be the proud recipient of two Weasels!!

Yes George W. Bush is a two time winner, he personally "shocked and awed" the competition by taking the weaseliest individual award, Bush garnered 13,959 votes, his nearest competitor, the always verbose Michael Moore could only attract 5,104 votes. Bush also can take credit for an associated win as Politicians took the title for weaseliest profession, with Lawyers not far off the pace in second.

The United States was a close second in the weaseliest country category trailing France by close to 2,000 votes, but then again France has had so much practice over the years. It seems that Canada just can't muster up much weaselistic behavior, as we finished well down the list ahead of only Germany.

And it was a moral victory for the White House as it came in second in the weaseliest organization category, only the Recording Industry Association of America could topple the power of the US government. No doubt the RIAA can thank downloading lawsuits against senior citizens and pre-pubescent teenage girls for their victory.

Bill Gates can create a new house for his award, Microsoft takes the title of weaseliest company. You know you have a PR problem when you're outpolling the likes of Halliburton and World Com for a company that folks just don't think necessarily has our best interests at heart.

And what is the weaseliest behavior? It would seem that self denial is the thing that trips the voters switch. By an overwhelming majority of over 3 to 1 and a total of 18,887 votes "blaming fast food restaurants for making you fat" took the title. This will be bad news for the second place winners of the profession category, but then again it could be a match made in weasel heaven.

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