Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Crime Wave Hits Podunk!

Well the Daily Podunkian carried some terrible news today, crime is rampant in Podunk. Podunk police are asking for Podunkians to be vigilant and keep their eyes open, as thieves are working the Ninth Avenue East area stealing CD's and CD players from automobiles. Two vehicles were targeted early on the 9th and the owners are now tuneless for the drive downtown. You know if they had "burned" the copies of their tunes on their computer they would only be out the cost of a disc. Perhaps this could be a great defence in the great music piracy debate. We're not pirating your honour, we're protecting our personal use music from the clutches of thieves.

Criminals continued their wicked ways as a suspicious disappearance took place on Ambrose. Podunk police are investigating the theft of a pair of ski boots from a residence, no size was made public no doubt so as to assist the investigation.

And while Podunk suffers this unprecedented run on crime, we're still small potatoes compared to our neighbours 90 minutes to the east in Bench. Police there are still trying to piece together the brazen daylight theft of the entire outdoor display of snowblowers at the local Canadian Tire. It seems that a number of daring miscreants loaded up all the snowblowers in record time into the back of their truck and roared off into the snow. Police are still investigating but if your neighbour should all of sudden be moving his snow with a new thrower, ask a few questions. Remember we can all help take a bite out of crime.

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