C for Conservative, C for achievement?

The Toronto Star realizing that school is out (as is the House of Commons) took it upon itself to grade the current crop of freshman Conservative Cabinet Ministers (all Conservative Cabinet members are freshman you see!).

And while the Star is traditionally thought upon as a liberally inclined newspaper (aka Liberal), you can’t really quibble too much with their deliberations. Though they seem to find a few too many good things in the Ontario ministers and tend to dismiss some of the ministers from afar, but then again this would not be the first time that the Star has been accused of being Ontario centric!

It must have been a hard job trying to grade this cabinet, considering the cone of silence that Prime Minister Stephen Harper has enclosed his fellow Conservatives in. Most when challenged with a question seem to stammer or look like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, a few stand their ground and give out a sound byte, many just take the back stairs and disappear.

It seems that those that don’t mind the thrust and parry of the Parliamentary Press Corp fared better than those that hid, go figure!

The Star handed out very few A’s only Ontario’s Jim Flaherty the Finance Minister and Chuck Strahl Agriculture and Wheat Board Minister took top marks this semester. Mom and Dad should buy them a nice present for their good marks this summer.

At the other end of the marking scale we present Michael Fortier, the controversial choice for Minister of Public Works and Government Services, safely hidden away in his Senate office and not accountable in the House of Commons he received a big fat F, they kindly suggest that perhaps a B be given to James Moore who has the unenviable job of filling in for Fortier at the Daily inquisition known as Question period.

D’s were handed out to five ministers with Defence Minister Gordon O’Connor holding the low end there with a D-, this despite this weeks expected orgy of defense spending and the long overdue program of new toys for big boys and girls. Tony Clement’s troubles in the Health Department left him looking for a better semester next term and Jim Prentice got roasted for his handling of Aboriginal affairs, though perhaps the Star could turn their gaze towards Queen’s Park in Toronto over their concerns over the current crisis in Caledonia, that’s one issue that perhaps Prentice is taking the heat on that isn’t particualry deserved

The Cabinet when it comes down to the averaging is very much a C quality crew, thirteen of 27 members were put in the C category. From BC’s David Emerson (his mark is pending review depending on the outcome of the software lumber wars) , through Stockwell Day and Peter McKay they all come out looking pretty average in the Star’s study.

Two students received an I for Incomplete, Carol Skelton at Taxation who has no profile at all at the Cabinet table and the unfortunate Greg Thompson Minister of Veterans Affairs who is dismissed with a two line summation of “Not a high profile ministry, not a high profile minister” ouch, so much for self esteem this semester!

Four made the grade as B students this session, John Baird, Rob Nicholson Vic Toews and the Prime Minister himself, Stephen Harper was graded as a B- for the term. The Star applauding his dedication to the job at hand, his discipline ( we assume personal and not his authoritarian ways with the Cabinet) and his focus on results. While many may not particularly like his agenda he is at least decisive, where as the previous guy in charge tended to dither over every decision that needed to be made. There is something to be said we guess for just setting a course and seeing if you actually get there.

On the whole it is an average grade for an average batch. Not quite the slacker generation, but surely not a bunch of over achievers either.

It would appear that being in power does make one a target, since there hasn’t been much of a report card made up on the Liberal’s, a group currently wandering the nation trying to inject some life and interest into their leadership campaign. Not an easy job when the only headline of note is when the fiddler guy decides he doesn’t want to be leader anymore, big sigh of relief from Liberal bosses there we bet. For the moment the Liberals are spending a lot of time looking to their left and wondering if they'll keep the centre much longer.

Having been given pretty well a free ride this session, it's now a free summer for the Conservative class of 2006, the A students can collect their gold stars, the B’s can enjoy their mark while pledging to study harder for next term.

As for the D’s and the F’s maybe they can consider a bit of summer school, a chance to cram for the next semester and get a better handle on their class load for the next semester.

For the thirteen average pupils, perhaps a summer of occasional study to go with the traditional summer relaxation might come in handy, surely some of those C’s can aspire to be a B- now can’t they? Study harder boys and girls and lift those expectations, it’s the least that you can do for your country!