Rarely can a movie release bring such complete negative press within 24 hours of its release. But Halle Berry’s latest Hollywood moving picture has seemingly tapped a nerve with critics everywhere.
In 1987 there was a widely panned movie featuring Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty called Ishtar, it for a while rewrote the book on negative reviews. But with the release of Catwoman Dustin and Warren can rest easy for good now, they should have got an Oscar considering what Halle Berry's latest has offered up. Just take a look at these headlines and the acid tinged reviews they come attached to them!
This Cats a Dog said one cutline, Catastrophe said the other, as the Toronto Stars contribution to protecting cats everywhere. Best line in the review was bring out the kitty litter!
Bad Kitty, Very Bad Kitty screams the Globe and Mail, advising us that at ½ a star every odorous frame deserves to be sent to the kitty litter box.
The Kitty Litter theme gets some more play from the Seattle Times, where Ted Fry suggests that no amount of Kitty Litter can save this stinker.
The Calgary Sun scores a point with Purrfect Dud, as they call it a 100 million dollar hairball that shows that Hollywood’s bad ideas really do get nine lives.
The National Post’s Chris Knight also gave the epic ½ a star and suggested that this is one cat that needs to be fixed.
Peter Bowes does some work for the BBC with a toned down review that simply states that Catwoman fails to purr.
Christy Lemire of the Associated Press adds her two cents worth by advising that this is a movie for the attention span challenged would find hope in. Describing it as an action movie, that is mind numbingly boring.
Like Claws on a blackboard is the word from USA Today, as they offer some advice for her career. A jolt of catnip will clear her senses.
We’ll end our cat's tail the way we started it, by giving the final word to Roger Ebert who spins a tale of disappointment that no doubt will be featured in this weeks Ebert and Roeper television program. For Roger the blame goes to the director Pitof, a man that Ebert figures must have been issued two names at birth and should use the other one on his next project.
And with that we’ll pull in our claws, curl up with a warm saucer of milk and take a nap. Perhaps we’ll stretch out on the couch and wait patiently for Catwoman to show up on Movie Central, thus saving our movie dollars for more worthwhile fare. As for Halle, she can only hope that it's not 17 years before some new release comes out to take the heat off of her feline felony!
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