Some entrepreneurial middleman is handling the negotiations for the return of Santa, or his spirit at least. In an unusual listing for the world wide auction service an empty box holds the fate of the world's true believers in the journey of Mr. Claus.
An item ( 220055672066) posted on eBay has the spirit of Santa being held hostage, by grinches who want to see a 100,000 dollar payout to release the tidings of joy of the season. it would seem our creative criminal minds have decided that Santa can't deliver without that spirit so until the ransom is paid, Christmas is in peril.
By way of explanation, the middleman (no doubt hedging his or her bets) offered up his take on the situation before listing the demands of
"First, I am NOT the one holding Santa Claus hostage. The captor has contacted me to list his demands to the world, via eBay. One lucky bidder will be able to save Christmas and wil be a hero in the eyes of the world! The winner will receive the ransom note, the receptacle which currently imprisons the Spirit of Christmas and the instructions on how to release it. Below is the ransom note's demands:"
I have captured Santa Claus and am holding him hostage! It is not his physical body but his Christmas Spirit. This is the form that allows him to travel the world on Chrismas Eve, as well as emulate good cheer, compassion and the Spirit of Giving to others throughout the year. I had spent years studying how to capture him and was successful. His energy is being contained within an "Empty Present". This is when someone gives a person they don't like a wrapped box with nothing inside. This is very cruel and the only container that can imprison the Spirit of Christmas. The authorities cannot help because there is no missing persons report filed and most importantly, they DON'T believe. If my price is not paid then there will be no Christmas this year, next year. . .or any other year!
So far the extortion thing isn't working too well, no bids have been received with less than six days to go in the auction.
Something tells me somebody is getting some coal for Christmas